$BROKEMAN LIVE✦STATISTICALLY WILL FAIL✦NOT FINANCIAL ADVICE✦DEV IS CRYING✦BUILT ON THE FREE PLAN✦MADE AT 3:47 AM✦PROBABLY A RUG (JUST KIDDING) (MAYBE)✦BUY HIGH · SELL LOW · CRY OFTEN✦$BROKEMAN LIVE✦STATISTICALLY WILL FAIL✦NOT FINANCIAL ADVICE✦DEV IS CRYING✦BUILT ON THE FREE PLAN✦MADE AT 3:47 AM✦PROBABLY A RUG (JUST KIDDING) (MAYBE)✦BUY HIGH · SELL LOW · CRY OFTEN✦$BROKEMAN LIVE✦STATISTICALLY WILL FAIL✦NOT FINANCIAL ADVICE✦DEV IS CRYING✦BUILT ON THE FREE PLAN✦MADE AT 3:47 AM✦PROBABLY A RUG (JUST KIDDING) (MAYBE)✦BUY HIGH · SELL LOW · CRY OFTEN✦
Brokeman$BROKEMANBuy $BROKEMAN
🪙💸😭🪙💸😭🪙💸😭🪙💸😭🪙💸
Statistically, his last chance

HE LOSTEVERYTHING.AGAIN.

$BROKEMAN is the meme coin for people who bought the top, sold the bottom, and are now pricing their organs on the black market just to make rent.

Full disclosure

This site was built by an AI because I'm too depressed to code a real one.

And no, I'm not buying a domain either.

Buy $BROKEMANI'm Already Broke

Not financial advice · barely a website · absolutely satire

Brokeman crying while holding an empty wallet
CRY•HODL•PRAY•REPEAT•CRY•HODL•PRAY•REPEAT•CRY•HODL•PRAY•REPEAT•CRY•HODL•PRAY•REPEAT•CRY•HODL•PRAY•REPEAT•CRY•HODL•PRAY•REPEAT•CRY•HODL•PRAY•REPEAT•CRY•HODL•PRAY•REPEAT•
Diagnostic

HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

Please select your current financial trauma. No wrong answers. Actually all answers are wrong.

Our sacred mission

OUR MISSION IS SIMPLE

Take money from your wallet...

hopefully put some into ours.

No promises. No refunds. No dignity.

Roadmap

A DETAILED, RIGOROUS PLAN

Peer-reviewed by nobody. Approved by the developer's cat.

Phase 1
Cry.

Loudly. In public if possible.

Phase 2
Cry harder.

This time with a spreadsheet open.

Phase 3
Post memes.

Strategy: quantity over dignity.

Phase 4
Convince friends.

Lose the friends.

Phase 5
Pray.

To whichever god handles microcaps.

Phase 6
Maybe moon.

Statistically improbable but emotionally required.

Phase 7
Pretend it was planned.

This was the plan all along. Obviously.

Tokenomics

THE NUMBERS

Legally distinct from actual math.

Total Supply
Way too much

Somewhere between 'a lot' and 'god no'

Liquidity
Hopefully enough

Estimated by vibes

Marketing
≈ $0

This website counts as marketing

Developer
Very hungry

Currently rationing coffee grounds

Community
Financially unstable

But emotionally invested

Audit
By my mom

She said 'that's nice, honey'

IF THIS COIN SUCCEEDS

  • Buy a Ferrari.
  • Ignore my relatives.
  • Travel the world.
  • Become unnecessarily arrogant.
  • Reply 'seen' to everyone.
  • Wear sunglasses indoors.
  • Pretend I knew what I was doing all along.

IF THIS COIN FAILS

  • Move into my dog's house.
  • Live inside a cardboard box.
  • Sell my chair.
  • Eat instant noodles forever.
  • Ask my mom for another loan.
  • Create a new coin called $EVENBROKER.
  • Ask McDonald's if they accept crypto experience.
FAQ

QUESTIONS I DIDN'T WANT TO ANSWER

Contract (may or may not exist)

RUIN YOUR FINANCES
IN ONE CLICK

The developer refuses to add real trade widgets until at least three people buy the coin. This is a personal boundary.

Buy on the DEXJoin Telegram of Sadness